If there’s continued contact with the priest after this apology and “forgiveness,” and the relationship continues to spiral completely out of control, then forgiveness becomes ever more elusive. It lies solely with the way he treated me in my most vulnerable hour, when I shared with him my feelings about wanting to either go one way or the other with him and stop living in limbo. All the forgiveness in the world cannot bring it back to its original state.
For the priest to believe that an apology afterward will make things right is like taking a delicate flower, squashing it into the ground with his foot, then picking it up later fully expecting that it can be put together again the way it was before. The next line, “with mean will” is what I mean by this. The Church has some arguably rigid and Pharisaical doctrines, but each person is responsible for choosing whether to follow them and in doing so, causing a great deal of pain for another person.
Fear of his reputation, his job, his reliance on the Catholic church for his livelihood.The woman will want to make excuses for him and will probably always love him.But never forget that "yes he did use you." Emotionally, sexually, to meet his unmet needs—and in doing so, the priest along with his "bride" Catholicism, has also damaged the woman spirituality to some extent.Later, the priest may apologize, and even believe that he is sorry. I could only control my own actions, so I blamed myself the most. X for his schoolboy mentality and the way he handled and justified everything between us.But what he is sorry for is his harsh reaction, not any of his other actions. I blamed the church the least, only because the celibacy doctrine has been around for hundreds of years before I was even born—we knew the Church’s rules and broke them anyway, but hypocritically within its confines.It was interesting to write this within the confines of the words that were in the little box.